Angry?

Anyone can become angry - that is easy.
But to be angry with the right person,
to the right degree,
at the right time,
for the right purpose,
and in the right way - this is not easy.

- Aristotle-

Well, yes, I was angry, a lil bit. And disappointed. Very disappointed. Can't explain much on that. Someone did make me angry (I still don't think ANGRY is the right word).

I am a sensitive person, with soft heart & fragile, even though I may look strong. At least some close friends aware of that. The close friends that I've known for years. I don't realize I can become so down and sad just because of what an old friend have said.

No matter how hurt I am just because of someone, I will forgive. It's not me to punish, but God.

To love someone, is to love their weaknesses. I can't force them to accept me just the way I am, the way I accept them. But then, I still remembered of what a dear friend of mine have said, do not be jealous with your friends, but then, be proud of them.

Yes, I'm hurt. And I'm sorry that I have hurt my friends, several times, I think, without me myself realize that they were hurt. I'm really sorry. And I had hurt the one that I love most, many times before, I hurt you, I was silly and mad and had gone crazy. Now, there are no excuses being angry without any good excuses. I've learned to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way. Well, damn, it's not easy.

Till then, enjoy this video clip from MUSE-UNINTENDED. Enjoy your weekend!

P/s: B.S.U.R.S.I.C.U.S.U.R

Suka vs Cinta

Antara suka dan cinta - Suka vs Cinta - dua benda tu memang tak sama. Selain dari ejaannya yang tak sama, obviously, S.U.K.A & C.I.N.T.A memang la tak sama. Dah start merapu...

Tapi, ada yang tak faham bahasa. Bila aku kata aku suka, aku suka ja la. Suka, bukan cinta. Lagi tak sama. Kenapa la orang tu boleh perasaan bila aku kata aku suka. C'mon, aku kata aku SUKA, that's all. Suka, bukan melibatkan perasaan batin atau rasa sayang aku. Tapi, budak tu tak faham bahasa. Apa dia ingat dia tu HEBAT sangat? Sampai semua perempuan pun syiok kat dia? Minta maap bebanyak, aku tak tau la dia tu memang jenis yang kuat perasaan atau pun dah tebiat dia macam tu. Alahai, entahla Labu...

Zaman sekarang ni, ada juga lelaki yang perasan ek? Or berperasaan macam tu... Yelah, apa la bezanya antara lelaki dan perempuan zaman sekarang kan?

:Masih lagi terfikirkan jejaka perasan itu:

Dulu & Sekarang

If kawan2 sekalian baca post sebelum yang ni, post tu tunjuk muka aku dulu. Dulu... time aku mula2 masuk keja. Dulu... time aku sentiasa bersemangat turun kerja. Dulu... time happy sesangat (tapi bukan maksud sekarang tak happy, tapi, kureng...). Dulu... time rambut aku panjang mengurai. Dulu... time aku kurus sikit.

Tapi itu dulu... time seronok. Time aku enjoy keja kat sini. Tapi yelah, nak komplen apa guna, at least aku ada keja sekarang ni. Ada gak kawan ku yang lain belum pun dapat kerja. Dulu aku memang suka la sangat. Tapi sekarang dah tak macam dulu lagi.

Sekarang... banyak member yang sekepala dan best semacam dah takda. Sekarang aku sorang ja yang tinggal. Aku ditinggalkan... haru biru aku. Aku dah takda semangat keja, semangat macam aku mula2 masuk sini, *sigh*. Hari-hari ku turun demi anak murid aku. Diaorang la 'buah hati pengarang jantung' aku. Kalau takda diaorang, aku pun tak dapat nak mengajar, kan?

Dulu & Sekarang - terlalu banyak bedanya.

If these pictures could speak...

Peace, kacang peas...

A moment like this...

The Best Birthday, ever...

The Place I rather be...

The things I love most...
Feeding time...

Posers... (miss u guys!)

Being with you...

... and you...

... & Teddy...

...

And most of all...
... being high&dry...

Well, those were the days. Those HAPPY DAYS...

FLU

This FLU is killing me... Unable to take MC due to work and responsibilities. Waaa.. tapi, bak kata a dear friend, aku nak fikirkan tentang orang, tapi siapa yang nak fikirkan aku?

I just hate being sick. For a second time this year, *sigh*.

Nope, I didn't go to clinic yet. I just have Panadol Cold&Flu for the moment.

FLU + fever + headache. *Gosh*

04.04.2008

This date, 6 years ago, he was gone. But yet, he still missed by Nenek, Apak, Mak, Enie, Biki and I, and the rest of family members. He's my favorite. The one that pampered me so much, compared to my other siblings. He's strict but yet have a great sense of humor. I still remembered the last time I saw him...

Mak called me.
Be back as soon as possible.
He cannot make it any longer.
But I said I can't be back.
My final exam have not finished yet.

I flew back the day after I finished my exam.

Mak said he was fighting, holding his breath, just to see you.

And I managed to see him.

God took him away the day after I met him. Just like a dream. 6 years has passed, it's just like yesterday. But I'm grateful that I was able to met him, even for the last time.

Aki, you will always in my heart and we always miss you...

SPA

SPA a.k.a Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam. I've been to 3 exams. The first exam I failed. But I passed the second exam. And recently, I've been through PTD (Pegawai Tadbir Diplomatik) exam. It was a tough one, and I don't think I can make it. But then, I pass! Maybe it's just my luck cos I don't really prepared, especially on the essays part. But then, I did it! I did! Even I don't really put on high hope to go tru all the stages (exam, assessment & interview). Well, what comes around goes around, plus hard work and effort.

And there will be another exam for SPA this coming Saturday. Another exam, sigh! I just can't understand why there must be another exam, since that I've passed the second exam. Hmmm... still thinking whether I should go or not and take another leave. For information, I've been blacklisted by my boss just because I've attended the PTD exam last February. I just don't get it. Boss... sampai bila kita harus begini?

Countdown-3 days to go for the exam.

Benci

Aku benci...
orang yang tak faham bahasa.
orang yang buat aku sakit hati.
orang yang kata sayang, tapi hakikatnya tidak.
orang yang kata care, tapi sebenarnya tak ambil peduli.
orang yang kata dia kawan aku, tapi betul ka dia tu kawan?

Tapi...
kenapala dia tak faham bahasa?
kenapa dia boleh sakitkan hati aku?
kenapalah antara banyak2 orang dia lah yang paling 'bertuah' menjadi orang yang aku benci?
kenapa dia takda masa aku betul2 perlukan dia?
sapalah aku nak benci dia?
apalah hak aku nak benci dia?

Tak apa...
mungkin dia tu bengap sampai tak faham bahasa.
mungkin dia sayangkan aku la dia sakitkan hati aku.
benci mana pun, dia tetap orang yang aku sayang.
sakit hati mana pun, dia tetap kawan aku.
for better or worse, dia kawan sampai mati.

Back to Work

Abang. He can't wait for the food...

I enjoyed the time I had with my sister and family, especially with my two lil naughty nephews. And I'm starting to miss them, *huargh*

Things went well for us, but not exactly according to the plan that I've mentioned in the previous post. We didn't really went to Santubong then, as I forgot how unpredictable the weather can be. So we ended up going to Siburan ('bout an hour drive from Kuching town) to visit a friend that has delivered her third baby.

Senyuman penjahat Adik.

I did make it to Taman Sahabat. My nephews enjoyed feeding the fishes, sampai si kecik melompat2, takut terlompat ke dalam air, he was too excited to see the fishes. And the next day we made it to Serikin, but then, I have to hold the 'abang' tight, with hot weather and crowded by visitors, it surely makes me feel tired. But being with them, it's worth it.

Today, back to work, as routine. And I miss them so much already. Hmmm...

Happy, Happy Holidays!

At last! There will be 4 days off from work! Well, with my sister and family expected time of arrival is at 9.40am tomorrow, there's a lot of things that I have in mind, such as where wanna bring they makan nasi, makan angin... They will be staying till Sunday, and I guess one place at a day will do for them ;)

Well, here's the plan:
Thursday - I'll drive them all the way to Santubong 'cos me myself kinda merindukan pantai. If you come from Bintulu, you'll know how I feel ;). Do you think it's fair enough, since that they will be arriving from Miri? Hmmm...

Friday - Somewhere not too far, 'cos I have to attend Good Friday's mass at 5pm at St. Joseph. Taman Sahabat, maybe?

Saturday - All the way to Malaysia-Indonesia border, that is Serikin (a place where you can tawar-menawar baju, perfumes, handbags, handicrafts & etc for reasonable price). I've been there for window shopping several times but this time around I'm gonna buy something for me, huh?

Sunday - Tour around town, before catching up with their flight back home.

Till then, Happy Good Friday(don't forget to puasa, ok!) and Happy Easter to all.

Lazy Monday!

Woke up at 8.30am, as usual. Work start at 9am. Luckily my house is 'bout 5min away from the office. And luckily I'm the one that would not take hours to get dress for work. Usually I would be able to punch before 9am. But then, I punched in at 9.09am (well, I'm late, again!*wink*wink*).

No productivity for today. I'm just sitting in front of the pc, doing nothing. Precisely, nothing on the work. I'm browsing through friendster, youtube, myheritage and blogger, since morning! Well, the students still having their semester break, that is why I don't have any classes to attend to, or to entertain their karenah ;). Actually there's a lot, A LOT of works and things that have to be settled for the week, but then I just don't have the motivation to do so. I guess it's because of the holidays' mood. There will be public holiday on Thursday and Friday, and I'm going to have my annual leave on Saturday. In addition to that, my sister and family will arrive on Thursday itself. I just can't wait for the day! I miss my boys already, whoaaa... ku sudah berada di awang-awangan sekarang, huhu...

My bos said, 'kalau dah tak cinta, lebih baik berpisah daripada hidup berpura-pura'. If there is no motivation to do any works, does that mean that I don't love the job? But then, I choose where I want to be, and where I wanna go. 'Bukannya aku tak cinta', but then, I'm looking forward for the holidays.

Till then, *cheers*

And I miss you so...

Have you ever feel you want and need 'someone' so much? Till you can't breath, and everything seems goes wrong? And you can't stop from thinking of 'someone'? And that you miss 'someone' so bad when things don't turn out right? And it's happen to be that 'someone' is out of reach?

Well, I do. Lately, I miss 'someone' so much. I miss 'my friend', the one who would be there before, when I need a shoulder to cry on or even to make me smile. I miss 'my friend' more for the moment, just because 'my friend' is not here with me. That at a time, I just feel that I better find someone to replace 'my friend'. But then, 'my friend', there's no one can ever replace your place, as a friend, a brother, an angel and companion.

Untuk kesekian kalinya, 'my friend', I miss you so much! No matter how great the distance is, and you are out of my sight, you'll be always in that special part of me, that is, my HEART.

Have a great weekend then!

Pening

Welcome to my page! Apart from the blog that I have in friendster, this will be my main blog. Due to some technical errors in friendster, which I hardly can update from time to time, so here I am.

Pening... Pening for today, arghh... Suddenly, with the headache *sigh*